Mexico Trip Decoded: part one

1) "One More"

There were six flights of stairs to get to get from our stateroom on the cruise to the place where they serve the most delicious (and may I say unlimited!) food. That's 111 steps up and 111 back down. So, doing this three times a day for meals... plus more (lets be honest!) Genuine and I averaged about 1000 steps a day. I think my muscles seized for the first half of the week. Muscles burned in places I didn't know I had them. When we got to the second to last floor, we'd say, "One more." Feeling over confident one day, I tried to run up all of them. That was dumb. I almost died.

2) "Personal Space!"

This is what I shouted in my sleep when Genuine unknowingly cuddled up to me in the night and put her arm around me. Freaked me right out. It was particularly alarming because Genuine is super shy and reserved. I'm used to sleeping by myself. Nothing could have prepared me for the midnight snuggler attack. Genuine still can't believe she did that. Next time I'm bringing pepper spray.

3) "Sad face to the right"

There were so many stairs and hallways that we had to get creative. Genuine's friends were on the eighth floor in the hallway which had the sad mask. At the sad mask, we needed to turn right and then stop at the bum painting. Our room was on the floor with the buildings and magic eye painting to the left. Our room was infront of the second to last red jube jube light.

4) 8560, 8558, 8565, 8570

The first three are the wrong room numbers. 8565 housed a man who seem perplexed as to why we were at his door. We weren't sure what we were doing there either. Another time I tried 8560. The housekeeper made fun of me. He didn't even bother telling me it was the wrong room, he just laughed.

5) Swan Slug

Our housekeeper made us a swan out of towels. It was amazing! Excited, I touched it. The neck fell over and it turned into more of a slug. I tried to fix it, but had no success.

6) Solarium

This is where Genuine and I met up for our late night hot dog and pizza ritual. The wind blew really hard and we accidentally flashed the goods. I was glad to be wearing undies.

7) "Does it come with a husband?"

In Mazatlan, we went to a fancy shmancy diamond shop where some dude pressured me to buy a ring. I asked him if it came with a husband and he said something about being willing to marry me if I bought the ring. I asked him if he was planning to go back to Canada with me, but I can't remember what he said. Genuine and I booked it.

8) Ice Box Hill

There is a hill in Mazatlan that is made of rock and before the area had electricity, people from a nearby area would bring loads of ice to put in the cave to keep food cold.

9) Catarpillar

I saw a toddler with a green booger that kept getting longer, it crept out of her nose and made me want to vomit. Kids are gross.

10) "It's getting colder Jack"

This was us making fun of the movie, "Titanic". The hallway to our stateroom was on a lower deck and it was significantly colder than the other floors. The narrow halls looked the same as the movie.

11) "We should have sniped them from the top."

Genuine and I soaked up some rays while reclining on the deck. Music played, and a warm breeze swept over us. Peace. That is... until two old dudes in neon speedos rocked their packages and big bellies over to the pool. Shudder. How can you not stare?! Our eyes were fixed on the glowing beacons of brightness. Double shudder. Words cannot explain, it had to be seen to be believed. Afterward, it occured to us that we could have taken a photograph from the above deck.