Every year I go as a cat for Halloween. Black ears, black whiskers, black tail, and a black nose. Easy, simple, and cheap. One year my friend Whatever made such a big fuss that I wear a different costume, that I decided it wasn't worth the hassle to hold my ground. Boy was I wrong.
I didn't really think it through. I grabbed a roll of duct tape from the kitchen drawer and started wrapping my leg. If I couldn't go as a black cat, I was going to go as a duct taped cat. Brilliant. Turns out that I didn't have enough tape. Picture how cool I was going to Canadian Tire with tape up to my thigh. How do you even explain that? I just let it slide and tried to act normal. "Hey buddy, what are you looking at?"
Another thing I didn't think about was how I was supposed to pee. We went out and it was a long time before I could take the costume off. Have you ever tried to bend in duct tape? It doesn't work in case you were wondering. It also doesn't trap in heat, so if for any reason you decide to wrap yourself in duct tape, make sure to bring a warm jacket.
Freezing cold, tired, having to pee, and not being able to bend... make sure you have a way to get out of the costume. Basically, your only option is to cut yourself out of it. Make sure you haven't been drinking too much and neither has your friend, so when he or she comes at you with scissors, the person is safe to cut you out of it. Hopefully you're not shy either because you'll be naked and have weird bendy foldy marks from being squished. It's not cool, no one should ever have to see that. Just sayin'.
No comments:
Post a Comment