Let me introduce you to my bus drivers:
1) Newbie: Guy who goes the wrong way, backs up the bus, and asks us (passengers) which way to go. Super nice... but kinda scary.
2) Madam A. : Lady who is type A. Every hair is in place, her clothes are pressed, she adjusts everything often ie the garbage can, the mirrors, the tickets, the mirrors, the garbage can, the tickets. Efficient.
3) Mr. Go-Stop McChatterson: He's young and eager. It's gas pedal or brake. Yells out the window at people. For the most part friendly.
4) Mr. Cruise Control: It's tempting to sleep on this bus. He drives at an even speed. Slows down and speeds up gradually. Sometimes he cruises right pass our stops. He seems surprised every time.
5) Mr. FANtastic: First indication he was different- sign on the bus read, "Go Flames Go!", instead of the destination. He wore a Flames Jersey and held a portable radio, which rattled off the details of the game. I could have paid with a cracker. After a while, he pulled over, got off the bus and smoked. FANtastic drank an amber liquid out of a cloudy plastic cup with a lid and a straw. It was either apple juice, urine, or beer.
6) Pervy-Blacklisted-Bus-Driver: OK first, let me premise this intro with the fact that I had just come from a stressful but successful interview (I got hired!). I was wearing my new black and white dress with a cute thin purple and fuchsia belt (thanks Mocha!). Before I caught the bus I stopped at Starbucks to get a venti hazelnut iced coffee. What a refreshing way to celebrate! Once I stepped onto the bus, Pervy-Blacklisted-Bus-Driver looked me up and down and licked his lips. LICKED HIS LIPS! Ewww! I was too overcome with shock and the desire to boil myself and wear a parka that I didn't come up with a chastising remark. He continued the creep fest by eyeing me in the mirror. He sealed the deal as the Blacklisted bus driver when he slammed the doors on my arms, and caused my entire beverage to spill on the grass . The nearest Starbucks is a 40 min bus ride away. Sniff.
I'm crossing my fingers for Madam A. or Mr. Cruise Control tomorrow, but I'm bringing my parka just incase.
2 comments:
Ha ha ha ha!
Laughing at your descriptions - I could totally picture them:) The outfit sounds really good btw :) No wonder Pervy McPerverson was eying you up...but still, creeper. All he needs now is a book to stare over top of you from!
It was a classy dress, nothing sketchy about it at all. The only thing sketchy was the dude checking it out! Shudder. And I will *never* forget the newspaper story, that was amazing.
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