The treats I crave the most :)

1) Chocolate cake from Thrifty's
2) Chocolate cheesecake from Thrifty's
3) Cheese buns from Thrifty's



4) Double chocolate cookies from Safeway
5) Homemade cookies that I make
6) DQ Blizzards (either Georgia mudfudge or chocolate extreme with Reece's Peanut Butter Cups instead of brownie chunks)
7) DQ onion rings. LARGE.
8) Island Farms Moosetracks ice cream with Reece's chocolate hardening sauce
9) Purdy's English toffee. Mmmmm.
10) Starbucks java chip frap with peppermint and extra mocha (no whip)
11) Rogers chocolates- the ones that are square with caramel and almonds covered in dark chocolate. Mmmm.
12) Oh yeah, Thrifty's butter tarts. Okay, confession time- I just ate two of them.
13) Silk chocolate soy milk (actually tastes better than regular chocolate milk because there is more cocoa)
14) Pringles (comes in phases)
15) Peanut butter chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins
16) Beautiful shanty shack granitas from Washington. LOVE them. More than Starbucks fraps actually.
17) Strawberry margaritas
18) Red Lobster coconut shrimp with that pineapple sauce.
19) Olive Garden Alfredo sauce. I'm pretty sure I could drink that stuff.
20) Movie theatre popcorn with extra butter- bring it on!

I just ate another butter tart. Washed it down with some chocolate milk. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a gut rot day. Shudder.

Flashback Memory Friday: Clifford the little red dog

Did you ever read the Clifford, The Big Red Dog books as a kid? I always thought it would be wicked cool to have Clifford as my own protector and friend. Can you imagine how comfortable it would be to snuggle with him or ride on his back?! I would have run away from my brother and sister. Latina followed me everywhere and it was so not cool.

I thought it would be a good idea to dye my shih-tzu with a box of red Loreal from the drug store. Turns out it's not the same. Plus, I got reamed out big time. We're talking huge. Also, because it takes a super long time to wash out, I got lectured for weeks.

Stupid Clifford.

Maybe Harper could give me a new-business grant?

So, I've got a new business idea. It involves me selling iced tea in a bikini. Seriously, I could brew up some flavoured teas the night before, and then cart them in a cooler to wherever. Tips welcome. However, I'd have to switch locations often to avoid getting in trouble.

I just thought of some vulgar company names. I think I'll keep them to myself.

Sigh. Pout. Sigh.

Making the world a better place by being unemployed

If I were employed, I wouldn't have been driving the Pat Bay in the middle of the day. I wouldn't be with my sister on her day off. I wouldn't have seen the two punk-ass kids who were driving like idiots, and pretending to shoot people when they drove by. Honestly, what were they thinking? Do they believe they are gangster rapper types who live somewhere other than a retirement town?! Looked like scrawny white brats to me. Hmmmph!

I called the cops on them. Yep, sure did. We had to follow them for a bit (how action movie is that?!) and tell the officer on the phone where they were heading. From here, another cop could catch up with them.

Heh heh, suckahs got a ticket.

Again, making the world (or at least the Pat Bay Highway) a better place.

Cheapskate Tuesday: Grocery shopping on a budget

Oh my goodness! I think this is the most lucrative Cheapskate Tuesday in a long time. Seriously, stealing straws from Starbucks is small potatoes in comparison.

First: Make sure to invite a person from out of town to stay with you.

Second: On the way back from picking him or her up, suggest stopping at the grocery store to get supplies.

Third: Upon parking, "realize" you forgot your wallet (true story). Suggest driving home to get it.

Fourth: If the previous three steps were done correctly (aka convincingly), your guest will be grateful you picked him or her up and will offer to buy groceries as a thank-you for letting him or her stay with you.

Bingo! Go ahead, put that prime rib in the basket. Do it. While your at it, pick out some flowers.

One slice or two, of humble pie?

I officially applied to CDN Tire, Timmies, Safeway, the Dollar Store, and even the Bottle Depot.

Now I am going to drink.

Freezer goodies

Hypothetically, if you look in your freezer and see a gingerbread man in a Ziploc, but you didn't put it there and have no idea where it came from, you probably shouldn't eat it. It likely tastes freezer burnt and will make you feel weird.

Main players at the gym

I'd like to say, that Attitude and I have officially been going to the gym for three weeks. Whoa. In that time we've met some interesting people...

1) The Asian lady who beats the shit out of herself. She can be found mainly in the pool, and sometimes likes to whack herself repeatedly in the shoulders with water weights. We are not sure why she does this. Also, Attitude wasn't paying attention once and ran her over in the leisure lane.

2) Speedy. This is an old lady who hauls sass in the swimming department. We admire her health, but secretly resent her for using the leisure lane instead of the moderate or fast lane.

3) The Nice Lady. She is a regular in the pool and we miss her when she's not there. Warm smile.

4) Alex. He was the first person we met and sometimes he goes red when we talk to him.

5) The Cool Cookie Lady. She works there and is cool and likes to listen to good music and bumps it up. We brought her cookies. We like her.

6) Cranky Purple Shirt Lady. She doesn't like us because she thinks Attitude told her she sucks. Attitude tried to clarify, but to no avail. She also tries to smile at her, but Cranky Purple Shirt Lady shirks her efforts. I think the whole thing is comical.

7) Loraine. Kind of crazy. Usually works out wearing a visor. She says I have a nice figure and British peaches and cream skin. This kind of makes me uncomfortable.

8) Pam-o-rama. I have not actually met her, but she told Attitude that she lost a hundred pounds or something. We think she's cool.

9) Fight Club. This chick is amazing. She runs on the treadmill for an hour and a half at like an incline of 10 or something. Sweats right through her whole t-shirt. Everyday. She looks like a girl next door, but she's tough shit and scares us. I don't talk to her and try to avoid eye contact. Secretly I wonder if she is a secret agent. We agree that she probably kicks peoples asses for a living.

10) Old Spice. He is a younger blond guy with shaggy hair who wears a litre of old spice. He works out regularly and means well.

11) Zoop! This is a young guy who is sinewy and tries too hard. Attitude saw him struggling to keep up on the treadmill because he was overdoing it. He went Zoop! off the back and then quit. We're not sure what he's trying to prove.

Flashback Memory Friday: Who knew crows were picky?

In grade 12, Whatever and I had the opportunity to house-sit a beautiful home in Skutz Falls (aka the middle of forested nowhere). It was gorgeous.

This was pretty much our first time being out of our parents' houses. We were oh so grown up. One night Whatever was out late and I thought I'd make her pizza for when she got home. Pizza's pretty easy right? Just slap together some toppings and toss it in the oven, yeah?

Here's what I did:
-Put premade crust on tray
-Topped crust with a touch of tomatoe sauce, some ham, and some pineapple
-Added preshredded mozza cheese. Cheesy pizza is the best right, so I just put the whole bag on there. (The bag may have been 1kg)
-Put in the oven on the top shelf
-Turned the temp up to broil and let cook for 40 minutes

Turns out I burnt the shit out of it. The smoke literally poured out of the oven. Charcoal my friends, charcoal. Even when I scraped the black off the top, it was still rough. It tasted like nasty campfire. Poor Whatever tried to show her appreciation for my "cooking" but couldn't eat it. The next day, her mom came over with some foster kids and the kids wouldn't eat it. So they brought the pizza for the dog. The dog wouldn't eat it. Finally, she threw bits of pizza on the lawn for the crows. Alas, the crows would not touch it and the pieces eventually became waterlogged and mouldy. Sigh.

Top facebook status: Pets

"Don't sweat the petty, pet the sweaty."

Ha.

Indication of sleep deprivation

Okay, so getting up at 4:58 am to work out with attiudte has not been a problem . Surrpising eh? howver, the probme.s is that that I crash at about 11am and want to die. Soooo tired. This week I thought I'd forcem yself to stay awakd anyway so that I'd keep a sleep scjhedurle. Excellent idea,, however I did,t get to bed any earlidr so not only did I not *catch* up on sleep, but I fell furnther and furhtndr behind. Sucky. Fortuanately Cofee has helpde me out... but probaly not ehough. Shit. Next week my goal is got to be getting eight hours of sleep a night. :) Also nociticed that I accidentally posted two entries on not sharing cookeis with Gosh. Wow, that's rough.

Cheapskate Tuesday: The last straw

I went to Starbucks and they were out of venti straws. I didn't mention anything about the 20 venti straws that I have on the counter at home. Not going to lie, I felt a pang of guilt.

Just a pang though.

Slang slung me

Today I learned that some words shortened to slang are already slang for something else. Sometimes these things are inappropriate. Sometimes, you might want to shout your "new" slang to your sister who is across the pool. She might look at you funny and shake your head, so you might say it again because you think she didn't hear you.

Afterward, she might tell you what "your" slang really means, and you might feel like a pervert. Way to earn the title of "Creepy Pool Lady."