Easter Sunday like no other...

I thought I'd be a good girl and go to church on Easter Sunday. Out of all the Sundays in the year, this seems like the most important one- you know that whole, "Jesus died and rose for the sins of mankind" thing. I even dressed up a bit. Well, if something other than Lulu pants constitutes dressing up. Easter Sunday just seems more holy or sacred.

Well, maybe not this one.

First, I stopped to pick up my aunt, who upon walking toward the car realized her slip was longer than her skirt. Heh heh "outrageous." I didn't know they still sold slips. When we got to the church parking lot, it was pouring. I parked in a spot that wasn't beside anyone. This is where my aunt decided it was a good idea to remove her slip in the car. How about the bathroom? Nope. As she's hiking her skirt up, an SUV pulls up on the passenger side. The lady gets out, looks over, and smiles. Church people smile. When in doubt, smile. Awesome, someone thinks my aunt is a fruit loop. Pass the milk please.

Because it was raining, some gentlemen from the church volunteered to escort people from their vehicles to the church with an umbrella. Brilliant idea. Super thoughtful. However, not such great timing. Poor Johnny-thirteen-year-old jogs over to the car to offer his assistance. I try to shoo him away while trying to subtly shield my aunt. However, he thinks I'm being polite or proud and insists on extending his kind gesture. He comes closer. Then the poor kid catches an unforgettable glimpse of my aunt from over my shoulder. Then he ran away. Yep, Johnny-thirteen-year-old will forever have the image of a 52 year old woman in all her nylon glory, shaking her hips, and taking off her clothes. On Easter. It's a shame he had to lose his innocence this way.

As I'm trying to recover from the parking lot strip show, we go inside to get coffee. It's really not that great, but in a pinch it will do. Bottom line: it's all about the caffeine. As we're waiting in line to get our java fix, my aunt compliments a little old granny on her matching powder pink skirt and suit jacket. I secretly wonder if she kept it from the fifties, but added beige support shoes, and more rouge. Flattered, the lady showed off her "lovely Easter necklace": a diamond studded bunny. She was so proud. My jaw dropped and I stared. Speechless. Apparently this lady was not familiar with the Playboy Bunny emblem. I wondered how many other people would notice her beloved Easter necklace. Priceless.

I must say, this was one of the most exciting Easter services I've been to. Ever. Rewind. Play.