I made three dozen peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. I brought some to the gym for the super cool receptionist, gave some to Attitude and Ink, and made up a plate for the baristas at the Starbucks I usually go to. Awesome. Then I ate a few. Yum. I called up Mocha to give her some, but she was busy. I ate a few more. I know Gosh likes cookies, so I called and left a message saying I had some cookies for him.
By the time he called back I had eaten all but one. I felt so sick. What a dirt bag.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Flashback Memory Friday: Long hair
In high school my hair was really long. One night in particular, I was more aggravated than most because my hair kept sweeping across my back and chest every time I turned over. It tickled my skin and woke me up. I hate being woken up.
Then in a daze, I realized that I had cut my hair months prior and there was no way my hair could reach my ears, never mind my shoulders. EEK!! I looked down to see a massive wolf spider crawl over my chest. FACK! Instinctively, I grabbed it with my hand and flung it across the room. Then I danced around swearing with my arms flapping around. Quite the production, I'm sure. Trauma.
Wide awake, I put on a hundred layers of clothing, my touque, and tucked my joggers into my socks. Did I mention my sweet turtleneck? I didn't know where the spider was and I wasn't going to risk it touching my skin again. Nasty. However, after hunting around for a while, I found it squished and bent like a pretzel on the other side of my room. I guess in my freight I mushed him. Shudder. Double shudder.
Then in a daze, I realized that I had cut my hair months prior and there was no way my hair could reach my ears, never mind my shoulders. EEK!! I looked down to see a massive wolf spider crawl over my chest. FACK! Instinctively, I grabbed it with my hand and flung it across the room. Then I danced around swearing with my arms flapping around. Quite the production, I'm sure. Trauma.
Wide awake, I put on a hundred layers of clothing, my touque, and tucked my joggers into my socks. Did I mention my sweet turtleneck? I didn't know where the spider was and I wasn't going to risk it touching my skin again. Nasty. However, after hunting around for a while, I found it squished and bent like a pretzel on the other side of my room. I guess in my freight I mushed him. Shudder. Double shudder.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I'm a dirt bag
I phoned Gosh to see if he wanted some freshly baked, peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. He wasn't home, so I left a message. However, by the time he called back, I had eaten them all.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Signs you should throw your chops away
1) You forgot they were even in the fridge.
2) The current date is two days past the best before date.
3) The package leaked, so it's sticking to the bag (good thing you kept it in the bag btw- you're awesome).
4) When you look closer, you notice they are kinda discoloured. Hmmmm.
5) You call your sister (hypothetically her name is Latina) and she asks you when you bought them, but you can't remember. She thinks you should toss them.
6) You then decide to call your step dad to see what he would do. He asks you if they smell. They do. He thinks you should also chuck them.
7) When you put them in the oven anyway (they were expensive after all and hypothetically you might not have a job) they get progressively stinkier and soon your whole kitchen reeks.
8) You go to throw them out because they are sketchy and you don't trust them, and they smell so bad that your stomach turns and you hold back mad chunder.
Moral of the story: Cook your food on time, or at least put it in the freezer before it turns funky colours and gets stinky.
2) The current date is two days past the best before date.
3) The package leaked, so it's sticking to the bag (good thing you kept it in the bag btw- you're awesome).
4) When you look closer, you notice they are kinda discoloured. Hmmmm.
5) You call your sister (hypothetically her name is Latina) and she asks you when you bought them, but you can't remember. She thinks you should toss them.
6) You then decide to call your step dad to see what he would do. He asks you if they smell. They do. He thinks you should also chuck them.
7) When you put them in the oven anyway (they were expensive after all and hypothetically you might not have a job) they get progressively stinkier and soon your whole kitchen reeks.
8) You go to throw them out because they are sketchy and you don't trust them, and they smell so bad that your stomach turns and you hold back mad chunder.
Moral of the story: Cook your food on time, or at least put it in the freezer before it turns funky colours and gets stinky.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Cheapskate Tuesday: How to get a *free* personal trainer to pay *you* to go to the gym
Back fat, leg cheese, and turkey neck = not cool. They're even less cool when you're going to be a maid of honour for your sister's wedding. Shudder. After seeing the pictures from Whatever's wedding that I was in last summer, I vowed not to look like that again. Double shudder.
It turns out that there is 89 days until my sister Attitude and her husband Ink get married. Attitude also wants to get her sexy on for the wedding, so for a bridal party gift, she gave me a pass to the rec centers so we can workout together. Awesome! How cool is that? A free three month membership which includes fitness rooms, classes, and the pools at any Victoria rec center. Killer.
So did you catch that? Step 1, agree to be in a wedding.
Step 2, make sure you're meeting a hardcore person who will call you if you show up a minute late (literally will call), who will make sure you do your stretches, will make you lift weights even though you don't want to, and will make you do that plank thing that feels a bit like death.
I feel like a pretzel. But... I feel like a pretzel for free. Plus, I'm going to look killer in my dress. Bring on the 5:15 am alarm clock! Gulp.
It turns out that there is 89 days until my sister Attitude and her husband Ink get married. Attitude also wants to get her sexy on for the wedding, so for a bridal party gift, she gave me a pass to the rec centers so we can workout together. Awesome! How cool is that? A free three month membership which includes fitness rooms, classes, and the pools at any Victoria rec center. Killer.
So did you catch that? Step 1, agree to be in a wedding.
Step 2, make sure you're meeting a hardcore person who will call you if you show up a minute late (literally will call), who will make sure you do your stretches, will make you lift weights even though you don't want to, and will make you do that plank thing that feels a bit like death.
I feel like a pretzel. But... I feel like a pretzel for free. Plus, I'm going to look killer in my dress. Bring on the 5:15 am alarm clock! Gulp.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Drop-by Correlation Theory
Usually I keep my house in fantastic condition. I hate dirty dishes. Gross. Also, clutter stresses me out and I like knowing where everything is. However, I've noticed that the more time I spend unemployed and around the house, the less motivated I am to clean. It's only me, right? Subconsciously, I went on a dish strike and actually ran out of forks and bowls. This hasn't happened to me since my first years of university aka "the slob years". So I ate off of a china plate with a spoon and used a bread knife to cut my tomatoes.
Yesterday was when I formulated the 'Drop-by Correlation Theory'. The messier my house is, the more random 'drop by' visits I get from family, friends, and my landlords. Not cool. Jenga-esq garbage cans, baskets of laundry, and refugee-style decor are not conducive to the image I want to project.
Shit.
So I went crazy Molly Maid style on my suite. Not going to lie, it looks pretty good. While I was at it, I cleaned my car. With a toothbrush. I figured I haven't had long hair for a year, so the foot and a half long hairs needed to go. As did the spilled coffee, the beach sand from last August, and the melted blue crayon my nephew crushed on the back mat. The outside was so bad that when I washed it the first time (that's right, I had to do it twice), the suds were green. Not brown, green. Shudder. It was the first time I ever washed my own car. Wow.
Now, perhaps no one will drop by to see my clean house or need a ride in my sparkly car, but on the positive side, I won't have to sniff my laundry to decipher what to wear :)
Yesterday was when I formulated the 'Drop-by Correlation Theory'. The messier my house is, the more random 'drop by' visits I get from family, friends, and my landlords. Not cool. Jenga-esq garbage cans, baskets of laundry, and refugee-style decor are not conducive to the image I want to project.
Shit.
So I went crazy Molly Maid style on my suite. Not going to lie, it looks pretty good. While I was at it, I cleaned my car. With a toothbrush. I figured I haven't had long hair for a year, so the foot and a half long hairs needed to go. As did the spilled coffee, the beach sand from last August, and the melted blue crayon my nephew crushed on the back mat. The outside was so bad that when I washed it the first time (that's right, I had to do it twice), the suds were green. Not brown, green. Shudder. It was the first time I ever washed my own car. Wow.
Now, perhaps no one will drop by to see my clean house or need a ride in my sparkly car, but on the positive side, I won't have to sniff my laundry to decipher what to wear :)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Miss Fancy Pants and her horse
If someone asked me if I am a prideful person, I would say, "No." If someone asked me if I believe a person's job can add or subtract from his or her worth or "value", I would say, "No."
Recently, I've discovered that perhaps I'm not as humble and open minded as I thought. After venting about the six million resumes I've handed out, the interviews I've fake smiled for, and the "thanks for the interview" cards that I've sent, a friend asked if I've applied to places like Tim Hortons yet. I paused. Speechless. Me? Work there?! This is when I realized that maybe I'm a bit of a dirt bag. I have two degrees, excellent work experience, and am 27- I shouldn't have to work there! What the eff?! Doesn't Miss Fancy Pants have bills to pay? Shouldn't she be saving for school in September? Does she have some sort of other plan? Turning tricks is not a plan. Selling drugs... not so much either. Perhaps Miss Fancy pants should get off her high horse, suck it up, and apply to a job that is not her first choice.
Would you like fries with that?
Recently, I've discovered that perhaps I'm not as humble and open minded as I thought. After venting about the six million resumes I've handed out, the interviews I've fake smiled for, and the "thanks for the interview" cards that I've sent, a friend asked if I've applied to places like Tim Hortons yet. I paused. Speechless. Me? Work there?! This is when I realized that maybe I'm a bit of a dirt bag. I have two degrees, excellent work experience, and am 27- I shouldn't have to work there! What the eff?! Doesn't Miss Fancy Pants have bills to pay? Shouldn't she be saving for school in September? Does she have some sort of other plan? Turning tricks is not a plan. Selling drugs... not so much either. Perhaps Miss Fancy pants should get off her high horse, suck it up, and apply to a job that is not her first choice.
Would you like fries with that?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Top facebook status this week
This status entry is written by the same guy as last week.
"If you could channel this insane talent for stalking, you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitored, and tagged within five days."
"If you could channel this insane talent for stalking, you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitored, and tagged within five days."
Friday, May 22, 2009
Flashback memory Friday: Driving a science project
I don't wash my car. I don't like the act of actually washing it and I'm too cheap to go through a car wash, especially when it's just going to get dirty anyway.
Last year creepy green stuff started growing on it. Ew. At the high school where I worked, we put some of this guck on a slide and looked at it under a microscope. It was algae and had creepy microscopic dudes swimming around. Shudder. So I probably washed it right? Nope. At some point, Attitude wrote a cute message on my back window in erasable pen. When it started coming off, I probably washed it right? Nope. How about when Mocha spilled half a blizzard over the passenger door and back of the car? Nope. Definitely I must have washed it when there were like 20 bird craps on it! Not so much, besides the rain fades all that stuff. Wow.
In the years that I've had my car, I only had the car washed once by some kids for a fundraiser. Poor suckers. My brother washed it another time as a Christmas gift, and when I went to Calgary, my landlord washed it while I was away. That's pretty bad.
If you guys ever wonder what to get me for a gift (because I'm sure that's on your minds), either flowers or a car wash is great.
Last year creepy green stuff started growing on it. Ew. At the high school where I worked, we put some of this guck on a slide and looked at it under a microscope. It was algae and had creepy microscopic dudes swimming around. Shudder. So I probably washed it right? Nope. At some point, Attitude wrote a cute message on my back window in erasable pen. When it started coming off, I probably washed it right? Nope. How about when Mocha spilled half a blizzard over the passenger door and back of the car? Nope. Definitely I must have washed it when there were like 20 bird craps on it! Not so much, besides the rain fades all that stuff. Wow.
In the years that I've had my car, I only had the car washed once by some kids for a fundraiser. Poor suckers. My brother washed it another time as a Christmas gift, and when I went to Calgary, my landlord washed it while I was away. That's pretty bad.
If you guys ever wonder what to get me for a gift (because I'm sure that's on your minds), either flowers or a car wash is great.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Ways to make applying for jobs more interesting
-Don't eat first, this will make you light headed, kinda dizzy, and a bit irritable for dropping off resumes.
-On a hot day wear a shirt that makes you sweat profusely. Underarm cresents show confidence and endurance right?
-The next time you drop off more resumes to other places, learn from the last point and wear a tank top. When the rain and wind pick up, you will show another kind of confidence. Good for you.
-Forget where you parked. Who needs to know street names anyway?
-Coffee jitters. Awesome. You're not an addict, really.
-Lust after handsome guy and realize you didn't actually listen to what he was saying.
-Cute shoes are a must, especially if you haven't worn them much and want to practice your tough-girl-ignoring-her-painful-blisters walk. You never know when that will come in handy.
-Realize you've been wearing your honkin', ugly, men's running watch the whole time.
-Don't write everything down, you'll remember the person's name. Oh wait, maybe you won't, but this does make it more interesting thinking of what you *could* call people. She really looked like more of a Megan anyway. Megan, Jenifer, whatever.
-On a hot day wear a shirt that makes you sweat profusely. Underarm cresents show confidence and endurance right?
-The next time you drop off more resumes to other places, learn from the last point and wear a tank top. When the rain and wind pick up, you will show another kind of confidence. Good for you.
-Forget where you parked. Who needs to know street names anyway?
-Coffee jitters. Awesome. You're not an addict, really.
-Lust after handsome guy and realize you didn't actually listen to what he was saying.
-Cute shoes are a must, especially if you haven't worn them much and want to practice your tough-girl-ignoring-her-painful-blisters walk. You never know when that will come in handy.
-Realize you've been wearing your honkin', ugly, men's running watch the whole time.
-Don't write everything down, you'll remember the person's name. Oh wait, maybe you won't, but this does make it more interesting thinking of what you *could* call people. She really looked like more of a Megan anyway. Megan, Jenifer, whatever.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Negative shmegative
Stupid job hunt. Stupid resumes. Stupid waiting for phone calls after stupid interviews. Stupid people complaining all the time. Grrrr!
Hmmm... wait a minute.
Lately I've noticed how annoying it is when people bitch all the time or speak negatively about other people. Then I noticed that I could probably shape up in this regard. For example, maybe I could quit complaining about not having a job or tone down the swearing when idiot drivers make ridiculous decisions- like when that lady made a left turn while texting on her cellphone. Her kid was in the backseat. I wanted to smack her and stomp her cellphone (I didn't though ;)).
Realistically, life is pretty good. Even with hard times or frustrating circumstances, there's always a positive spin that can be put on things. So what if I've averaged 4 hours sleep a night for the last four nights- I've had the opportunity to work out at the gym and spend time with my sister Attitude. Besides, it makes me appreciate and enjoy my coffee so much more *and* I'm going to be in awesome shape! Bring on the five am baby yeah!
Hmmm... wait a minute.
Lately I've noticed how annoying it is when people bitch all the time or speak negatively about other people. Then I noticed that I could probably shape up in this regard. For example, maybe I could quit complaining about not having a job or tone down the swearing when idiot drivers make ridiculous decisions- like when that lady made a left turn while texting on her cellphone. Her kid was in the backseat. I wanted to smack her and stomp her cellphone (I didn't though ;)).
Realistically, life is pretty good. Even with hard times or frustrating circumstances, there's always a positive spin that can be put on things. So what if I've averaged 4 hours sleep a night for the last four nights- I've had the opportunity to work out at the gym and spend time with my sister Attitude. Besides, it makes me appreciate and enjoy my coffee so much more *and* I'm going to be in awesome shape! Bring on the five am baby yeah!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Cheapskate Tuesday: Starbucks double feature
At Starbucks, I bought a sweet cold beverage cup, which is perfect for my tasty hazelnut iced coffee. It is double insulated so that the drink stays cold longer (woot) and is good for recycling (woot). Also cool, Starbucks subtracts 10 cents each time you use a personal cup. 10 cents, big deal right? I think it works out to about a free drink every month and a halfish. Nice.
Also... I may or may not steal straws from Starbucks so that I can use them for my protein shakes. Scandalous! To be fair though, I did check the grocery store first.
Also... I may or may not steal straws from Starbucks so that I can use them for my protein shakes. Scandalous! To be fair though, I did check the grocery store first.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Ralk out
Running. I used to be able to run 10km without much trouble, so I thought I’d get back into it and run the 4km trail by my house. Piece of cake right? Sure, if cake ran for only 4.5 minutes, wheezed, slipped in mud, and fell face first into dog crap. Okay, that didn’t actually happen, but it might as well have. I thought I was going to die. Needless to say I’m a long way from running a half marathon in October.
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New word: Ralk. Means alternating walking and running.
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New word: Ralk. Means alternating walking and running.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Another one bites the dust
I couldn't do it. Lizard guy and I were supposed to play pool, but the more I thought about it, the more it grossed me out. Not him, his pet lizard. What if before he came to play pool, he touched his reptile? Then lizard germs would be on the pool cue and pool balls. Ew. Then what if at some point we ended up dating and he ran his hands through my hair? Lizard hair, no thanks. Worse yet, what if he went to kiss me and put his hand on my cheek?! Shudder. Couldn't do it. Think about it, we'd never be able to share fries together because of his nasty bearded dragon cudies. While I was trying to think of reasons to back out, he said he was sick and maybe another time would be better. Never thought I'd be so happy to hear someone was ill.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Top facebook status of the day
Hot artist friend of mine: "Seriously iPhone, stop autocorrecting all my 'fucks' into 'ducks'. You're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable."
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My life is rarely boring
Pouring rain
Stranded cars with keys inside
Anything to justify chocolate and mint
2am pancakes
Friends
Arteries
A man fighting publicly with his mistress
The vacuum drowning out your voice
The lemon spider at our feet
The cost of it all
Birds chirp
And the sun rises
My ringers are off
Get more yogurt
Stranded cars with keys inside
Anything to justify chocolate and mint
2am pancakes
Friends
Arteries
A man fighting publicly with his mistress
The vacuum drowning out your voice
The lemon spider at our feet
The cost of it all
Birds chirp
And the sun rises
My ringers are off
Get more yogurt
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Cna yuo raed tihs?
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm..Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Confession Tuesday: folding clothes
Sometimes I use a cutting board to fold my t-shirts so they are all even.
Monday, May 11, 2009
"Awk-ward." One more time: awk-ward
Okay, so there’s this guy. He used to be my barista over a year ago (no, not my beloved Karl) and I saw him often. Pretty cool guy. Not interested. He was ridiculously tall, with horse teeth, and an unhealthy complexion. However, when seeing someone so often, we got to know each other and hung out a few times. Cool, more friends the merrier! He gave me free drinks, sweet. Anyway, February came around and I organized a singles’ Valentines shindig (freakin’ awesome!) and when I created a facebook group for it, I added him to the invite list. Why not?
Well turns out barista buddy got the wrong idea. He sent me a message saying he was “flattered”, but that he was in a relationship and didn’t think it was appropriate to spend Valentines with me, but that he hoped we could still be friends. WTF?! Are you kidding me? Buddy, get over yourself. Anyway, that was over year ago. I had written him back to clarify that I was completely not interested (tactfully, I left out the part about the teeth), but didn’t have any other communications with him. Until yesterday. Shit.
I guess he switched Starbucks’ and ended up at the one by my house. LAME. I walked in and saw him, but it would have been low to turn around and go out again. I mean, that’s just straight up immature. He pretended not to recognize me, then we exchanged awkward conversation. Not cool!!! This is *my* Starbucks, what is he doing working there?!
Well turns out barista buddy got the wrong idea. He sent me a message saying he was “flattered”, but that he was in a relationship and didn’t think it was appropriate to spend Valentines with me, but that he hoped we could still be friends. WTF?! Are you kidding me? Buddy, get over yourself. Anyway, that was over year ago. I had written him back to clarify that I was completely not interested (tactfully, I left out the part about the teeth), but didn’t have any other communications with him. Until yesterday. Shit.
I guess he switched Starbucks’ and ended up at the one by my house. LAME. I walked in and saw him, but it would have been low to turn around and go out again. I mean, that’s just straight up immature. He pretended not to recognize me, then we exchanged awkward conversation. Not cool!!! This is *my* Starbucks, what is he doing working there?!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Weightless
Guy’s weight gain. Apparently you’re not supposed to bring it up. Period. This includes telling a dude he’s lost weight. Does that mean you thought he was fat before?! If you try to back paddle and say he looks better with more weight, this is also bad. The joke, “there’s just more of you to love” is dead wrong. “A little extra around the middle is better for cuddling anyway” is not getting you out of the hole. I’ve tried all of these and none of them are acceptable. Who knew?!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
In good health
Whatever is taking psych and apparently there is a cross cultural psychosis called koro. I don’t have it.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Flashback Memory Friday: What do green and red bring to mind?
Not Christmas. Not for me anyway. Green and red remind me of the two kinds of Jello I ate when volunteering to help Mocha with youth last week. Something to do with a treasure hunt race. They needed help. "Heidi! Heidi! Can you help us?! Can you eat this? Fast Heidi!" I ate each one within a minute. I don't like Jello. It makes me feel sick. Slamming it when it's warm and liquidy doesn't help. Shudder. I stood over a garbage can in case I had to barf.
For the children, I did it for the children. Shudder.
For the children, I did it for the children. Shudder.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
WWDPS? (What would Dr. Phil Say?)
Okay, so being unemployed (sigh), I've had lots of time to think about things and analyze (cough cough over analyze cough) and I started pondering my dating lifestyle. Turns out I have some lame habits.
I like to go for guys I know are bad for me. Maybe so I can have a good reason for breaking things off? Maybe I'm scared of actually committing (bonus points for cliche)? Maybe I don't respect myself enough (a few more points)? Maybe I should pick up some Maybeline mascara. Seriously, mine is getting dried out. The other stuff I have is clumpy.
I make up lame reasons not to date decent guys. I mean, decent guys ask me out, but I say we're incompatible. But what is compatible?! Am I freaked out things will actually go somewhere? Do I subconsciously actually not want to settle down for good? Do I feel 'locked in'? I like to think that I want to find someone special to be with long term. Ooh! Maybe it's old fashioned cliche: "I've been burned before!" (Def worth at least 15 cliche points)
When I do actually date an awesome guy, I freak. RIGHT OUT. I start looking for faults, for downfalls, or reasons to break it off. They can be really dumb reasons too, stuff that can be dealt with. I once rejected a guy because he had a dorky haircut, a cat, but no drivers licence. I don't like cats. Another time I rejected a guy because I thought he was pulling away. Wow.
Maybe all these reasons are crap. Maybe I just haven't found the right guy. Maybe I need to stop being an idiot or start seeing a shrink. Maybe I should get on that Maybeline.
So where the heck is this entry coming from? A guy asked me out today. Let's randomly call him David Bowie. He's tall (awesome), brown hair, brown eyes, is sweet, well spoken, and fun. My first reaction was pretty much to run away and maybe not talk to him for a while. The guy owns a lizard and is musical, clearly we are incompatible. But maybe I should give it a go. I mean... I don't have to marry the guy right? Besides, it could be worse... he could have a cat.
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*Note to self, if interested in a guy, don't give him my blog address.
I like to go for guys I know are bad for me. Maybe so I can have a good reason for breaking things off? Maybe I'm scared of actually committing (bonus points for cliche)? Maybe I don't respect myself enough (a few more points)? Maybe I should pick up some Maybeline mascara. Seriously, mine is getting dried out. The other stuff I have is clumpy.
I make up lame reasons not to date decent guys. I mean, decent guys ask me out, but I say we're incompatible. But what is compatible?! Am I freaked out things will actually go somewhere? Do I subconsciously actually not want to settle down for good? Do I feel 'locked in'? I like to think that I want to find someone special to be with long term. Ooh! Maybe it's old fashioned cliche: "I've been burned before!" (Def worth at least 15 cliche points)
When I do actually date an awesome guy, I freak. RIGHT OUT. I start looking for faults, for downfalls, or reasons to break it off. They can be really dumb reasons too, stuff that can be dealt with. I once rejected a guy because he had a dorky haircut, a cat, but no drivers licence. I don't like cats. Another time I rejected a guy because I thought he was pulling away. Wow.
Maybe all these reasons are crap. Maybe I just haven't found the right guy. Maybe I need to stop being an idiot or start seeing a shrink. Maybe I should get on that Maybeline.
So where the heck is this entry coming from? A guy asked me out today. Let's randomly call him David Bowie. He's tall (awesome), brown hair, brown eyes, is sweet, well spoken, and fun. My first reaction was pretty much to run away and maybe not talk to him for a while. The guy owns a lizard and is musical, clearly we are incompatible. But maybe I should give it a go. I mean... I don't have to marry the guy right? Besides, it could be worse... he could have a cat.
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*Note to self, if interested in a guy, don't give him my blog address.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Got food stamps?
So here I am. Again. Unemployed.
On the one hand I feel pretty good about not working for that restaurant- not having to worry what my poor guests would be eating. But on the other hand I hate being unemployed. Having tons of free time seems like it would be a luxury, and maybe for the first few days it is. Then it morphs into a burden. It's lonely. It's unproductive. And it's definitely unpaid. I find that I get lazy and moody, and feel unmotivated to do anything other than sleep, go on facebook, and eat ice cream. My body mass index is not a big fan of this.
So, I've developed a game plan. Yep. Make fun of me all you want, but I'm going to treat looking for a job like an actual job: complete with start times, end times, and breaks. On that note, I better go, I'm officially on the clock in a few minutes ;)
P.S. If I don't get a job in at least two weeks, feel free to drop off non perishable food items (or cheesecake) in the box outside my house labelled "Heidi's Hamper".
On the one hand I feel pretty good about not working for that restaurant- not having to worry what my poor guests would be eating. But on the other hand I hate being unemployed. Having tons of free time seems like it would be a luxury, and maybe for the first few days it is. Then it morphs into a burden. It's lonely. It's unproductive. And it's definitely unpaid. I find that I get lazy and moody, and feel unmotivated to do anything other than sleep, go on facebook, and eat ice cream. My body mass index is not a big fan of this.
So, I've developed a game plan. Yep. Make fun of me all you want, but I'm going to treat looking for a job like an actual job: complete with start times, end times, and breaks. On that note, I better go, I'm officially on the clock in a few minutes ;)
P.S. If I don't get a job in at least two weeks, feel free to drop off non perishable food items (or cheesecake) in the box outside my house labelled "Heidi's Hamper".
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Confession Tuesday: I already want to quit my job
So here's the deal: I just started a new serving job and I really don't think it's going to work out. Here are some reasons why:
1) My manager looks at my breasts constantly. I'm kind of used to this and don't usually take offence to the odd glance, but this is more often than usual and my manager is a woman.
2) People touch the food. Which would be cool if it were just the cooks, but it isn't, it's everyone. Servers handle money, dirty dishes, and then manhandle people's meals. I can't handle that. Shudder. The people who actually are supposed to touch the food shouldn't. There is no dishwasher person, so everyone helps out, which is awesome. However, I've seen the cooks go from the kitchen to the dish pit and back without washing their hands. GROSS!
3) It's slow. Very slow. The lunch "rush" is less than an hour long. For tips this is lame. Really lame.
So, what do I do?! I really don't feel right about working there when I wouldn't eat the food myself and actually advise my friends not to. Also, I don't want to waste their time and money to train me when I know I want to take off. Furthermore, if I am looking for something else, I should get on it now. Hmmm, blogging this out, I think I've already got my answer!
1) My manager looks at my breasts constantly. I'm kind of used to this and don't usually take offence to the odd glance, but this is more often than usual and my manager is a woman.
2) People touch the food. Which would be cool if it were just the cooks, but it isn't, it's everyone. Servers handle money, dirty dishes, and then manhandle people's meals. I can't handle that. Shudder. The people who actually are supposed to touch the food shouldn't. There is no dishwasher person, so everyone helps out, which is awesome. However, I've seen the cooks go from the kitchen to the dish pit and back without washing their hands. GROSS!
3) It's slow. Very slow. The lunch "rush" is less than an hour long. For tips this is lame. Really lame.
So, what do I do?! I really don't feel right about working there when I wouldn't eat the food myself and actually advise my friends not to. Also, I don't want to waste their time and money to train me when I know I want to take off. Furthermore, if I am looking for something else, I should get on it now. Hmmm, blogging this out, I think I've already got my answer!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Over Share
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Hair. What kind of question is this?! What if I washed my privates first, am I supposed to write that?! Creepy.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Technically, "oatmeal" with purple feathers and birds. Love it. It's my K-lo hoodie. I bet Mochs and Genuine thought my fascination would wane... no way!
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
When the dude's nickname on my blog is "Ten", how could I not?!
4. Do you plan outfits?
Are we talking like a week in advance or something?! If it's for an occasion or I'm meeting with someone whom I want to make a good impression, yeah. Otherwise, I wear whatever is comfortable. Usually Lulu pants and one of my million graphic T's.
5. How are you feeling right now?
Technically it's not a feeling, but I'm feeling like some Moose Tracks ice cream with Reece's sauce. I'm also feeling like I need a back massage. Firm. Any takers, just let me know.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red?
Red satin ballet flats with a black satin bow. Tres cute. Heart. Heart.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Sex dream with a coworker in Calgary. It wasn't with Ten, but it was awesome.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
New coworker. He had cool grey-washed pointy toed shoes and a faux hawk.
9. What are you craving right now?
Ice cream and the back massage mentioned earlier. Mmmmm. Maybe a hot bath with candles and some tunes. Ahhh. Sigh. Heart. Heart.
10. Do you floss?
I flossed last night! But as a habit... unfortunately not. I always tell myself I'll do it "tomorrow."
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Gross cabbage rolls and how stinky they are and how slimy they feel and how much I hate ground beef. EWWW!!! Make it stop!
12. Are you emotional?
Depends on who you ask. Depends on who I open up to.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Are you kidding me?! Who has the time or desire for that?!
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
If it's on a cone, I take a bit off with my lips and swallow it. If it's on a spoon I put in in my mouth and let it melt on my tongue. All this ice cream talk is killing me!
15. Do you like your hair?
Sure. If it's long or short, there's so much to do with it! Yesterday I tried to trim up the back without a mirror. It might look good, or it might not. Meh.
16. Do you like yourself?
In general, yes. I like that I try to be genuine and that I don't lie. But, I hate that I procrastinate, don't have discipline, and lack will power. Fuck it, I'm getting the ice cream out.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Side note: This ice cream is awesome. Heart. As for Bush, I wouldn't not eat with him. There's few people I actually wouldn't eat with. Besides, he'd probably pay, which would make an excellent Cheapskate Tuesday entry.
18. What are you listening to right now?
"If today was your last day" by Nickelback.
19. Are your parents strict?
Hahahaha! Good one. Rules, what rules?
20. Would you go sky diving?
I'm free tomorrow afternoon, sign me up and I'll meet you at the field.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Heck no! Not the stuff in the fridge nor the hypothetical stuff that may or may not be lightly showing on my buns :) Sure glad I got the ice cream out after all ;)
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
My friends play Rock Band, does that count?
23. Do you rent movies often?
No, I don't even have my DVD player set up. However, I've been in the habit of buying cheap DVDs from Walmart or wherever else. They're still in the packages.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
Other than my personality? ;) Yes, I eat off of china and with gold plated cutlery. I'm serious. Sometimes I get McDonald's take out and bring it home and put it on my china. I should take a picture and post it next time. Ice cream bowl is officially empty.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Three: Canada, the USA, and Mexico.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
What exactly is a prank call? I called Special late at night recently and I usually leave dorky messages on people's phones.
27. Ever been on a train?
"Runaway train, never coming back..." just joking. I went on the Duncan Forestry Museum train. AWESOME. Er... other than that, does the Skytrain in Vancouver or the C-Train in Calgary count?!
28. Brown or white eggs?
Judging eggs by their colour is very "shellow" heh heh... get it? I "crack" me up. Puns come "over easy" with me. Bah ha ha! Snort. Cheap eggs are my choice. As long as they are large and don't come in Styrofoam.
29. Do you have a cell phone?
Stop pressuring me to conform! I still have a corded phone by my bed. It was my grandma's and says "BC Tel" on the front. Awesome.
30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Cherry.
31. Do you own a gun?
Yes, it's in my lingerie box next to my Spiderman costume.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Like a pro.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Well, was supposed to be Mochs, but she bailed to go to bed early (boo), so I called Enthusiasm, but she didn't answer. So I called Gosh, but he was going to bed early too. I feel like should take up bridge and quilting. Lawn bowling anyone?
34. Are you too forgiving?
Some people say so, but other people probably think I'm a bit harsh sometimes. I guess it depends on how deep the wound is and whether I believe the person is actually sorry.
35. Ever been in love?
Yeppers, with Mechanic Guy and Spreedsheet. And Batman. Definitely with Batman.
36. What is/are your best friend/s doing tonight?
Don't have a best friend. My closest friends are sleeping apparently. And one is out for dinner.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Bring it.
38. Last time you cried?
Couple weeks ago. Gulp. Choke. Hate seeing my bro cry.
39. What was the last question you asked?
Called Gosh and I asked, "Do you work tomorrow, or do you want to come and play?!" He works in the morning. Lame.
40. Favorite time of year?
They're all good! Probably have to say summer though because I can go to the beach. LOVE the beach. Love sleeping on the beach. Bring on the snoooooozzzze baby. Happy.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet, but I'm still thinking of getting one on my buns.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Usually when I'm upset.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I got to the part in the beginning where the kids were about to get molested and then I turned it off. Who the eff can handle that?!
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Not proud of that.
45. Favorite color?
Green.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yeppers. Last person was Ricky Bobby. He took something too far.
47. Is your hair curly?
Nope, but it was when Puma gave me a sweet 1980's perm when I was a kid.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Fleetwood Mac, Rumours. Love it. Bought it yesterday from Safeway for ten bucks.
49. Do looks matter?
Yeppers, maybe it sounds shallow, but Quasimodo is not my bag.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
For sure! Trust a cheater... I doubt it.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Can anyone say, "Ozone"?
52. Do you like your life right now?
Pretty broad question! Overall, I'd have to say no :) But I am enjoying the little things, like flowers in my house (thanks you two :)) and friends to joke around with.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
TV, what TV?
54. Can you handle the truth?
I think so... but again, depends on who you ask. I may overreact to the truth, but I calm down and take it in later when I'm by myself.
55. Do you have good vision?
Cough cough... also depends on who you ask :S Some think I squint.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Hate, no. Dislike, yep.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Tons. Hence the Ozone comment ;)
58. The last person you held hands with?
My bro when we were at the hospital.
59. What are you wearing?
Wouldn't you like to know. Wink. White and gray slipper boots from Sea, black Lemon pants I picked up with Lucky, Red Calvin Klein shirt I got with Sea from the second hand store, and the gray fleece Sea gave me for Christmas. Thanks for dressing me Sis.
60. What is your favorite animal?
Is a gremlin an animal? If so, then my nephew.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
Er what?
62. Can you hula hoop?
Sniff... nope.
63. Do you have a job?
Hooray! I can finally write "yes"! I got a job yesterday working at another restaurant, but here in Victoria. I'm not going to lie, it's not as nice as the one in Calgary and I'm kinda snobbing it out.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Tall, peppermint, java chip, frappuccino with extra mocha and no whip. Heart heart heart. Love.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I worked front desk at a hotel and two lesbians locked themselves out and I was the only one small enough to fit through the bathroom window. They made me hold a gnome and took a picture of my butt. I felt cheap and violated.
Hair. What kind of question is this?! What if I washed my privates first, am I supposed to write that?! Creepy.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Technically, "oatmeal" with purple feathers and birds. Love it. It's my K-lo hoodie. I bet Mochs and Genuine thought my fascination would wane... no way!
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
When the dude's nickname on my blog is "Ten", how could I not?!
4. Do you plan outfits?
Are we talking like a week in advance or something?! If it's for an occasion or I'm meeting with someone whom I want to make a good impression, yeah. Otherwise, I wear whatever is comfortable. Usually Lulu pants and one of my million graphic T's.
5. How are you feeling right now?
Technically it's not a feeling, but I'm feeling like some Moose Tracks ice cream with Reece's sauce. I'm also feeling like I need a back massage. Firm. Any takers, just let me know.
6. What’s the closest thing to you that’s red?
Red satin ballet flats with a black satin bow. Tres cute. Heart. Heart.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Sex dream with a coworker in Calgary. It wasn't with Ten, but it was awesome.
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
New coworker. He had cool grey-washed pointy toed shoes and a faux hawk.
9. What are you craving right now?
Ice cream and the back massage mentioned earlier. Mmmmm. Maybe a hot bath with candles and some tunes. Ahhh. Sigh. Heart. Heart.
10. Do you floss?
I flossed last night! But as a habit... unfortunately not. I always tell myself I'll do it "tomorrow."
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Gross cabbage rolls and how stinky they are and how slimy they feel and how much I hate ground beef. EWWW!!! Make it stop!
12. Are you emotional?
Depends on who you ask. Depends on who I open up to.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Are you kidding me?! Who has the time or desire for that?!
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
If it's on a cone, I take a bit off with my lips and swallow it. If it's on a spoon I put in in my mouth and let it melt on my tongue. All this ice cream talk is killing me!
15. Do you like your hair?
Sure. If it's long or short, there's so much to do with it! Yesterday I tried to trim up the back without a mirror. It might look good, or it might not. Meh.
16. Do you like yourself?
In general, yes. I like that I try to be genuine and that I don't lie. But, I hate that I procrastinate, don't have discipline, and lack will power. Fuck it, I'm getting the ice cream out.
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Side note: This ice cream is awesome. Heart. As for Bush, I wouldn't not eat with him. There's few people I actually wouldn't eat with. Besides, he'd probably pay, which would make an excellent Cheapskate Tuesday entry.
18. What are you listening to right now?
"If today was your last day" by Nickelback.
19. Are your parents strict?
Hahahaha! Good one. Rules, what rules?
20. Would you go sky diving?
I'm free tomorrow afternoon, sign me up and I'll meet you at the field.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Heck no! Not the stuff in the fridge nor the hypothetical stuff that may or may not be lightly showing on my buns :) Sure glad I got the ice cream out after all ;)
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
My friends play Rock Band, does that count?
23. Do you rent movies often?
No, I don't even have my DVD player set up. However, I've been in the habit of buying cheap DVDs from Walmart or wherever else. They're still in the packages.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
Other than my personality? ;) Yes, I eat off of china and with gold plated cutlery. I'm serious. Sometimes I get McDonald's take out and bring it home and put it on my china. I should take a picture and post it next time. Ice cream bowl is officially empty.
25. How many countries have you visited?
Three: Canada, the USA, and Mexico.
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
What exactly is a prank call? I called Special late at night recently and I usually leave dorky messages on people's phones.
27. Ever been on a train?
"Runaway train, never coming back..." just joking. I went on the Duncan Forestry Museum train. AWESOME. Er... other than that, does the Skytrain in Vancouver or the C-Train in Calgary count?!
28. Brown or white eggs?
Judging eggs by their colour is very "shellow" heh heh... get it? I "crack" me up. Puns come "over easy" with me. Bah ha ha! Snort. Cheap eggs are my choice. As long as they are large and don't come in Styrofoam.
29. Do you have a cell phone?
Stop pressuring me to conform! I still have a corded phone by my bed. It was my grandma's and says "BC Tel" on the front. Awesome.
30. Do you use Chap Stick?
Cherry.
31. Do you own a gun?
Yes, it's in my lingerie box next to my Spiderman costume.
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Like a pro.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Well, was supposed to be Mochs, but she bailed to go to bed early (boo), so I called Enthusiasm, but she didn't answer. So I called Gosh, but he was going to bed early too. I feel like should take up bridge and quilting. Lawn bowling anyone?
34. Are you too forgiving?
Some people say so, but other people probably think I'm a bit harsh sometimes. I guess it depends on how deep the wound is and whether I believe the person is actually sorry.
35. Ever been in love?
Yeppers, with Mechanic Guy and Spreedsheet. And Batman. Definitely with Batman.
36. What is/are your best friend/s doing tonight?
Don't have a best friend. My closest friends are sleeping apparently. And one is out for dinner.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
Bring it.
38. Last time you cried?
Couple weeks ago. Gulp. Choke. Hate seeing my bro cry.
39. What was the last question you asked?
Called Gosh and I asked, "Do you work tomorrow, or do you want to come and play?!" He works in the morning. Lame.
40. Favorite time of year?
They're all good! Probably have to say summer though because I can go to the beach. LOVE the beach. Love sleeping on the beach. Bring on the snoooooozzzze baby. Happy.
41. Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet, but I'm still thinking of getting one on my buns.
42. Are you sarcastic?
Usually when I'm upset.
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I got to the part in the beginning where the kids were about to get molested and then I turned it off. Who the eff can handle that?!
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Not proud of that.
45. Favorite color?
Green.
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yeppers. Last person was Ricky Bobby. He took something too far.
47. Is your hair curly?
Nope, but it was when Puma gave me a sweet 1980's perm when I was a kid.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Fleetwood Mac, Rumours. Love it. Bought it yesterday from Safeway for ten bucks.
49. Do looks matter?
Yeppers, maybe it sounds shallow, but Quasimodo is not my bag.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
For sure! Trust a cheater... I doubt it.
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Can anyone say, "Ozone"?
52. Do you like your life right now?
Pretty broad question! Overall, I'd have to say no :) But I am enjoying the little things, like flowers in my house (thanks you two :)) and friends to joke around with.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
TV, what TV?
54. Can you handle the truth?
I think so... but again, depends on who you ask. I may overreact to the truth, but I calm down and take it in later when I'm by myself.
55. Do you have good vision?
Cough cough... also depends on who you ask :S Some think I squint.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Hate, no. Dislike, yep.
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Tons. Hence the Ozone comment ;)
58. The last person you held hands with?
My bro when we were at the hospital.
59. What are you wearing?
Wouldn't you like to know. Wink. White and gray slipper boots from Sea, black Lemon pants I picked up with Lucky, Red Calvin Klein shirt I got with Sea from the second hand store, and the gray fleece Sea gave me for Christmas. Thanks for dressing me Sis.
60. What is your favorite animal?
Is a gremlin an animal? If so, then my nephew.
61. Where was your default picture taken at?
Er what?
62. Can you hula hoop?
Sniff... nope.
63. Do you have a job?
Hooray! I can finally write "yes"! I got a job yesterday working at another restaurant, but here in Victoria. I'm not going to lie, it's not as nice as the one in Calgary and I'm kinda snobbing it out.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Tall, peppermint, java chip, frappuccino with extra mocha and no whip. Heart heart heart. Love.
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
I worked front desk at a hotel and two lesbians locked themselves out and I was the only one small enough to fit through the bathroom window. They made me hold a gnome and took a picture of my butt. I felt cheap and violated.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Flashback Memory Friday: 1940's feminine instruction
I was sorting through some of mom's old boxes with Puma, and came across a 1940's handbook on menstruation. It's perfect. Hilarious even. And since I started my period the other day, I thought I'd share some advice with my fellow bleeders:
Cold drinks do not cause menstrual cramps. You may notice a small twinge or two at the time of ovulation. It's normal. Just ignore it!
Dental fillings made during your period "stay put" as well as any others.
And baths and showers! A girl needs them, at this time especially, because the menstrual flow does develop an odor. In any event, keeping dainty and well groomed can always help you feel attractive... confident.
Of course, the water shouldn't be too hot, because it may increase the flow; nor should it be too cold- for that may check it. But... comfortably warm, soapy baths and showers? YES! Bathing during your menstrual period is no different from bathing at any other time, for the flow stops temporarily while you're in the water. You can wash, dry quickly and put on a fresh napkin before it starts again.
Shampooing isn't harmful. Just be sure to dry your hair thoroughly in a warm room and, of course, avoid getting chilled.
Certainly you can go to dances. But better save the strenuous routine for another time.
Avoid catching cold! Guard against wet feet and chilling. Stay out of drafts... particularly if you're overheated. A sudden change in body temperature can shock your entire system, may lower your resistance, and possibly interfere with the menstrual flow.
You'll find it more convenient to have two sanitary belts. That way, you can wear one while the other is washed and dried. Sanitary belts are as easy to wash and dry as your panties.
Curious about tampons? You've probably heard or read about tampons. While they can be used if there is no insertion difficulty, it is advisable to wait until the pattern of your menstrual cycle is completely established before attempting to use them. Should you then decide you want to try tampons, authorities agree that it's a good idea to check with your mother or family physician first.
Awesome. I'll make sure to stay out of the cold, shampoo my hair safely, and ask my mom or physician about tampons this week. Thanks doc.
Cold drinks do not cause menstrual cramps. You may notice a small twinge or two at the time of ovulation. It's normal. Just ignore it!
Dental fillings made during your period "stay put" as well as any others.
And baths and showers! A girl needs them, at this time especially, because the menstrual flow does develop an odor. In any event, keeping dainty and well groomed can always help you feel attractive... confident.
Of course, the water shouldn't be too hot, because it may increase the flow; nor should it be too cold- for that may check it. But... comfortably warm, soapy baths and showers? YES! Bathing during your menstrual period is no different from bathing at any other time, for the flow stops temporarily while you're in the water. You can wash, dry quickly and put on a fresh napkin before it starts again.
Shampooing isn't harmful. Just be sure to dry your hair thoroughly in a warm room and, of course, avoid getting chilled.
Certainly you can go to dances. But better save the strenuous routine for another time.
Avoid catching cold! Guard against wet feet and chilling. Stay out of drafts... particularly if you're overheated. A sudden change in body temperature can shock your entire system, may lower your resistance, and possibly interfere with the menstrual flow.
You'll find it more convenient to have two sanitary belts. That way, you can wear one while the other is washed and dried. Sanitary belts are as easy to wash and dry as your panties.
Curious about tampons? You've probably heard or read about tampons. While they can be used if there is no insertion difficulty, it is advisable to wait until the pattern of your menstrual cycle is completely established before attempting to use them. Should you then decide you want to try tampons, authorities agree that it's a good idea to check with your mother or family physician first.
Awesome. I'll make sure to stay out of the cold, shampoo my hair safely, and ask my mom or physician about tampons this week. Thanks doc.
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