Inventing new games to the smell of chicken

I think my Starbucks standards are plummeting. Since there are virtually no Starbucks here, I’ve had to start going to Safeway to get my drinks. It’s rough. Safeway has no atmosphere. I guess technically it does, but that atmosphere SUCKS. The Starbucks is near the door where people with their whiny kids stream by. Sigh. I have to sit at a couple of wimpy tables next to the hot chicken. Did I mention the fluorescent lighting? Yep, things have gone downhill for me.

I think the worst part is the lack of music. In fact, the other day an advertisement came over the intercom informing customers that Purex was on sale. Something about superior softness and embossed tissue designs. Awesome, I love thinking about my ass while I’m trying to enjoy a mocha. Shudder.

There are also security guards everywhere here, including the grocery stores. Maybe that’s for all the people trying to shoplift rolls of Purex when it’s not on sale. Naturally, the security dude hangs out by the doors so I feel like I’m sharing my table with him. It used to make me nervous, but after a while, I decided to turn this uncomfortable situation into a game. I decided to *try* and look suspicious to see what would happen. Sometimes I pick up Starbucks mugs and look over my shoulder at the guard to see if I can stir up some suspicion. Other times, I come in with a Safeway bag from home and take things in and out of the bag to make him wonder if I’m slipping in a little something extra. So far nothing has happened. I think that means I’m winning the game.

I started another game, but this one doesn't involve a dude with his pants hiked up too high. It’s called the slurpee game and anyone can play. One day I noticed that someone left a giant slurpee cup on a shelf. The person placed it behind some other items so it could only be seen from the side of the shelf. Instinctively, I was tempted to put it in the garbage but I resisted and decided to see how long it would remain there. It was there a week and a half... but I’m not exactly sure if I won or lost the slurpee game. I guess it doesn’t matter as long as it takes my mind off of the smell of chicken.