For some reason, Taco didn't turn around and get back on the ferry after the Spiderman costume incident. Maybe he should have, it would have saved me grief later on.
Long story short, we ended up kissing. However, I didn't take his 5 o'clock shadow into account. That man has the thickest facial hair I've ever seen, I'm talking bush man material if he grew it out. It literally took the skin right of my chin. Not only did this make for unpleasant kissing, which it totally did, but it later looked like I scraped my chin. Imagine trying to hide that? A band aid? Nope, too ridiculous... plus I only had Sponge Bob band aids. Make up? No, that would probably look clumpy and lead to infection. So I left it.
It was Christmas Eve. "Oh my goodness! Heidi, what happened to your face?!" It was ugly, I'm not going to lie. I tried to joke around it. "Uhhh, skateboarding accident." My brother busted me on that one. "Heidi, you've had the same skateboard behind your door, with the plastic wrap on it for two years." Now everyone was attentive and pressed me harder for information. No joking this one off. Darius didn't buy it either, he stayed at my house and knew about the date. Dang. Most *cool* dads would probably try to cover for their daughters. All eyes were on me. People knew there was a real explanation and they were waiting for it. They spent the next twenty minutes razzing me. I finally gave in.
There are reasons I don't introduce the guys I like to my family. When I was in high school, I brought Stereo Mike home. Ten steps into the house my brother squirted him with a water gun and Latina threw a basketball at his head. If that wasn't enough, my mom and her friend thought it would be funny to ask him what his intentions were with me. First date, thanks guys.
Actually, come to think of it, I think my family has been trying to sabotage my love life all along. Back in the day when I went to the bar with Sea (I may or may not have been underage), I was dancing with Mr. Guy in a baseball cap. Apparently he was a little too friendly with Sea's kid sister for her liking. She asked to cut in and dance with him. Sure. I went and got another long island iced tea. When I came back to dance with him, he wouldn't come near me. What's the deal with that? I tried to get closer, but he just backed away. He said Sea threatened him. WHAT?! If he touched me again, she'd kill him.
This reminds me of a time I went to the pool with Sea and Darius. I was supposed to meet them in the hot tub. Being a teen, I was the last one there. Cute little bikini and hair in place, I entered the tub. Darius says six guys swarmed me. I chatted with them until Darius glided through the water and exclaimed, "I'm her father and I've got a gun you know!" They scattered like bowling pins. Thanks Dad.
There was also the time my auntie chased down some guy named Steve and tried to set me up with him. She actually *ran* after him and introduced herself and told him she had a lovely niece she'd like him to meet. I was standing right there. Awkward much?
Sometimes people ask me why I'm still single.
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