How to travel poorly on a plane part two

1) The night before leaving, accept a closing shift at the restaurant. Get three hours of sleep. Be exhausted.
2) Pack last minute- folding is for amatures, just throw it all in. Five minutes and we're done!
3) At the airport, get lost and ask the hot guy for directions.
4) After going to the wrong place (plastic cage with the spinny thing), ask someone else for directions.
5) See hot guy again and flirt a bit.
6) Walk away thinking you should have made some sort of move for coffee with him, especially after he said something about also loving Starbucks so much. Idiot.
7) Still day dream at security, wait for Frenchy security guy to ask if you have liquids or gels. You have parfume. How much? Say you don't know, but it smells good and then smile.
8) Smiling doesn't work. Get pulled aside to pull apart suitcase to find parfume to put in baggie. Hold up line.
9) Flash poorly packed lacy thongs to Frenchy and the rest of the line up, only to be told by the other security guy that your luggage is too big for carry on. You need to go back to check it into the luggage thingy.
10) Wonder how you forgot to do that in the first place?! You had no intentions of using those as carry on. Remember the hot guy. Oh.
11) Put luggage on spinny thing incorrectly. Get mocked by the young hostile luggage girl. Biatch. Who knew there was a propper way anyway?!
12) Return to security. No, you have no liquid or gels.
13) Lust over young security guy with the Sonic the Hedgehog hairdo and really white teeth. Wonder what he smells like.
14) End up getting run through security by the old guy. So much for smelling Sonic.
15) Find a Starbucks and rejoice! Life is good.
16) Hold up Starbucks line because your Starbucks card, credit card, and debit card won't swipe. It's obviously a problem with the machine, but vainly hope the people behind you don't think it's because you're poor.
17) Continue holding up line while you pay $5.30 in quarters. FYI, that's 22 quarters (hooray for being a server!).
18) Walk away and realize that the barista mistook your request for extra mocha as a request for extra peppermint. If Halls and Vicks Vapour Rub had an affair and made a beverage, this would be it.
19) Sinuses clear, realize you're late for boarding. Start jogging awkwardly with your beverage and super cool over sized purse that you got from Winners. So hot.
20) Get on plane and sigh in relief. It's crowded and you're sitting next to snobby girl. Whatever, it could be worse, you could be sitting next to farty breath. Shudder.