Gosh only calls me when I'm napping

As a warning, this entry is kind of a rant, so if that is going to rain on your sun-shiny day, don't read this entry.

I'm unemployed, which means you'd think I'd have oodles of time, but I don't. I'm always busy doing something and have developed a habit of napping in the afternoons to make up for the lack of sleep. Gosh must have a sense for when I'm in bed, because that's when he calls. I keep my blinds closed, so I know he's not stalking me. Naturally, it seems like I don't really do anything. We have a joke about how bad it looks.

It's funny being unemployed because people assume you're free all the time. If my friends invite me to hang out late and I say, "No, it's pretty late already", they point out that it's not like I have a job in the morning. Thanks, I didn't realize that. But if I sleep in, then people point out that it must be nice to have the luxury of lying in bed all day. Yeah... must be. Lets not forget about the midnight phone calls. People wouldn't call an employed person at one am, but feel like they can call me. News flash: I SLEEP TOO! Different people phone at 8am. News flash: I SLEEP TOO.

Another thing that I've noticed while being unemployed is people feel entitled to comment on my finances. My favourite question so far came from an aquaintance: "How can you afford to take all this time off, especially to go to Mexico? How are you paying for that?" Well, Mr. N. Oseyparker, it's a free trip that a friend is taking me on. I didn't say that, because it is none of his business. Instead, I told him I got the money from dealing drugs to my students. I smiled and laughed when I said this, which is the polite way of saying, "None of your business!" It is effective because it is a joke, but still reveals no information. Another good question comes up at restaurants, "Can you afford that dish when you don't have a job?" I smile and laugh again and say something about washing dishes. "Heidi, if you don't have a job, how can you afford Starbucks?" Whoa, slow that train down. My iced coffees come to $2.25, back off. I haven't come up with a comeback for this one, any ideas? Help!