Adventures on the bus

I'm not used to not having a car. Bus schedules, correct change, and a warm jacket are now a big part of my life. Fortunately, I live next to a fantastic bus route. It goes around the entire city of Calgary. This is impressive considering the size of it. I took it the other day to see the entire loop and hopefully find some sweet places to apply for jobs. The ride was 2.5 hours long. I was glad I peed first and brought Purell. Here are some of the highlights:

1) Through the ghetto section (this will definitely be a regular part of the update!) I saw a shop called, "Discretely Sweet Day Spa". What is the deal with this? Why "discrete" why not just say "day spa"? The windows were tinted. My sketchy alarm went off.
2) Saw a sewing machine store with barred windows. Who the heck robs a store like this? Has anyone ever lifted a sewing machine? They're heavy and awkward. Perhaps you could get out of the store with three of them, but then you'd have to leave your crowbar behind. Is there even a sewing machine black market?!
3) A guy came on the bus who looked just like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. It was hard not to stare.
4) Some dude sitting behind me sighed and his breath moved my hair. EWWWWWWW!
5) A lady came on with two extra large black bags of pop cans, and two smaller white bags. It was quite a production.
6) Buses aren't meant for girls with long legs. My knees hit the back of the seat in front of me. Special would be in agony.
7) I took notes along the route. People were really interested to see what I was writing and it made me wish I had some juicier subject matter. Also made me self conscious of my printing.
8) A guy sat beside me and he smelled *Exactly* like my friend Black. This made me instantly homesick. I wanted to hug the stranger. That might make him uncomfortable and might get me kicked off the bus in the middle of no where, so I didn't do it. An hour later someone came on who smelled like Vanilla. That reminded me of Mocha. Pout. This gave me the idea to collect deodorant and perfume/cologne samples from all the people I care about back home and sniff them every now and then. I imagine stalkers do this, so maybe I better not.
9) The closest Starbucks is 40 minutes away.
10) My butt fell asleep.