I'm In Love With My Barista: Out for the Count?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Out for the Count?

Okay, so I thought maybe I was over analyzing the Dracula thing. I mean come on, what are the chances he is a real vampire?! So ran a test and to be honest... the results totally strengthen my opinion. I think he's the real deal. For example:

We were on msn the other night and I asked him what he was up to and he said he was watching a show about bats on the discovery channel. WTF?! Are you kidding me?! I mean, can you chalk something like that up to coincidence? Does he know I'm on to him? Was he testing me? What will happen to me if he knows that I know? Yikes. I'm in too deep.

I'll keep you posted on the investigation.

1 comment:

Unknown said...: I think you should ask him veiled questions about the Twilight series (you may need to do a little research here), properties of blood, and sleep hygiene. But there is also one simple, sure-fire test: does he have a reflection???; February 9, 2010 at 3:50 PM

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Stuff my friends say I shouldn't say to or do around guys (especially if I'm interested)

If your man has been gone for a week and tells you how much he missed you, tell him you didn't really notice he was gone.
Compare him to your old sneakers you've had since grade nine. Mean it as a compliment.
When he gets his hair cut, ask if he's happy that he got rid of his Napoleon Dynamite hairstyle
When a guy is clearly upset, ask him if he's grouchy
In the middle of your first kiss, stop him abruptly and with disgust and a sour face exclaim, "Don't kiss like that!"
Tell him you think he has caterpillar eyebrows and ask if he's ever considered tweezing.
Assure him that even though he's not as attractive as the guys you usually date, that you like his personality a lot
Call him the wrong name
Ask if him if he is a vampire
Ask him if he's gained weight, especially if he's self conscious about this
If you've just started dating, tell him you already jotted down some wedding ideas.
Accidentally call him by the nickname you had for your ex.
Tell him that you're not stressed about the first kiss with him because it will probably be gross anyway.
Zero in on how how short he is. Actually use the term "hobbit".
Laugh when he expresses concern about hair loss, better yet, point out how it is thinning a lot faster in the back
Talk about my granny knee high stockings. Mention that they are beige.
Mention that he doesn't do something as well as so and so, especially BBQing
Tell him I think he needs counselling
React with shock when he tells me his age and exclaim that I didn't realize he was *that* old.
Pee while talking to him on the phone
Ask him to keep a toothbrush at my house because his breath is usually stinky
Tell him I can eat a pound of bacon to myself with no prob
Ask "size" questions
While playing football in the rain, throw mud in his eye
Tell one of my guy friends that I had a dream I made out with him the night before and that it was great (apparently this is awkward)
Tell my barista crush that the organic blueberry bars are always soggy and gross at his store
Ask if a guy shaves his body hair, especially back
Fart, especially loudly or stinkily