Main players at the gym

I'd like to say, that Attitude and I have officially been going to the gym for three weeks. Whoa. In that time we've met some interesting people...

1) The Asian lady who beats the shit out of herself. She can be found mainly in the pool, and sometimes likes to whack herself repeatedly in the shoulders with water weights. We are not sure why she does this. Also, Attitude wasn't paying attention once and ran her over in the leisure lane.

2) Speedy. This is an old lady who hauls sass in the swimming department. We admire her health, but secretly resent her for using the leisure lane instead of the moderate or fast lane.

3) The Nice Lady. She is a regular in the pool and we miss her when she's not there. Warm smile.

4) Alex. He was the first person we met and sometimes he goes red when we talk to him.

5) The Cool Cookie Lady. She works there and is cool and likes to listen to good music and bumps it up. We brought her cookies. We like her.

6) Cranky Purple Shirt Lady. She doesn't like us because she thinks Attitude told her she sucks. Attitude tried to clarify, but to no avail. She also tries to smile at her, but Cranky Purple Shirt Lady shirks her efforts. I think the whole thing is comical.

7) Loraine. Kind of crazy. Usually works out wearing a visor. She says I have a nice figure and British peaches and cream skin. This kind of makes me uncomfortable.

8) Pam-o-rama. I have not actually met her, but she told Attitude that she lost a hundred pounds or something. We think she's cool.

9) Fight Club. This chick is amazing. She runs on the treadmill for an hour and a half at like an incline of 10 or something. Sweats right through her whole t-shirt. Everyday. She looks like a girl next door, but she's tough shit and scares us. I don't talk to her and try to avoid eye contact. Secretly I wonder if she is a secret agent. We agree that she probably kicks peoples asses for a living.

10) Old Spice. He is a younger blond guy with shaggy hair who wears a litre of old spice. He works out regularly and means well.

11) Zoop! This is a young guy who is sinewy and tries too hard. Attitude saw him struggling to keep up on the treadmill because he was overdoing it. He went Zoop! off the back and then quit. We're not sure what he's trying to prove.