I'm In Love With My Barista: September 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Funny facebook status for the day

Friend wrote:

"I blacked out within 45 minutes, and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as 'the karate kid'."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Gasoline anxiety

Procrastinating getting gasoline is not cool. You know it's bad when you're constantly monitoring the needle on the gas gauge, and praying you don't have to go up a hill. Additionally, efficient places to pull over are on the radar in case your car decides to play the "putt putt quit" game. Not a fan of that game. White knuckled driving. Also not a fan.

I should have purchased gasoline yesterday. However, I would have missed out on the adrenaline rush. Hmmm, I need to get out more.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Spiders for free

Six classes. Full time work. It's crazy. 15 more months until I'm a teacher. 45 min before I can go to bed.

Randomly cut myself some bangs. Someone said they look professional.

A zit on my cheek is not going away. This is not professional.

I dressed up as Spiderman for my nephew's fourth b-day party yesterday.

People keep bringing me food. Ink, Attitude, and Latina are the best. Thank you.

Caught three spiders on my spider traps. That reminds me, I should set out more.

Got flowers. Orange daisies.

Got chocolates. Purdys. They're already gone.

Got mail from Ontario.

Have taken up yoga. I'm the best at the corpse pose. It's my favourite.

Stuff my friends say I shouldn't say to or do around guys (especially if I'm interested)

If your man has been gone for a week and tells you how much he missed you, tell him you didn't really notice he was gone.
Compare him to your old sneakers you've had since grade nine. Mean it as a compliment.
When he gets his hair cut, ask if he's happy that he got rid of his Napoleon Dynamite hairstyle
When a guy is clearly upset, ask him if he's grouchy
In the middle of your first kiss, stop him abruptly and with disgust and a sour face exclaim, "Don't kiss like that!"
Tell him you think he has caterpillar eyebrows and ask if he's ever considered tweezing.
Assure him that even though he's not as attractive as the guys you usually date, that you like his personality a lot
Call him the wrong name
Ask if him if he is a vampire
Ask him if he's gained weight, especially if he's self conscious about this
If you've just started dating, tell him you already jotted down some wedding ideas.
Accidentally call him by the nickname you had for your ex.
Tell him that you're not stressed about the first kiss with him because it will probably be gross anyway.
Zero in on how how short he is. Actually use the term "hobbit".
Laugh when he expresses concern about hair loss, better yet, point out how it is thinning a lot faster in the back
Talk about my granny knee high stockings. Mention that they are beige.
Mention that he doesn't do something as well as so and so, especially BBQing
Tell him I think he needs counselling
React with shock when he tells me his age and exclaim that I didn't realize he was *that* old.
Pee while talking to him on the phone
Ask him to keep a toothbrush at my house because his breath is usually stinky
Tell him I can eat a pound of bacon to myself with no prob
Ask "size" questions
While playing football in the rain, throw mud in his eye
Tell one of my guy friends that I had a dream I made out with him the night before and that it was great (apparently this is awkward)
Tell my barista crush that the organic blueberry bars are always soggy and gross at his store
Ask if a guy shaves his body hair, especially back
Fart, especially loudly or stinkily

I'm In Love With My Barista